After a suggestion from a friend, I decided to take another look at chapter one. I feel like an idiot. The story is there. Beautiful. I love it. But every time I read those first two chapters, there are times where the flow breaks down and just sounds like crap. Well, after my friend saying the flow was rather choppy I deciding to really scrutinize my work. Ha, my work, as if anything is truly mine. But that is a good thing. Anyway, I realized that I was not consistent with the POV. This story is third person, yes, but told from the POV of two characters (never in the same chapter). So why, do I have paragraphs at various point containing third person omniscient POV describing things in a way for the reader. No no no. If this is from a character’s POV then some items, or situations, would not be described in such a way. Which of course, was why flow, especially in the first chapter, was so damn choppy. Hopefully, I fixed that. But we will see.
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